The Inglorious Bastards of the Pir Panjals

It was early morning when the phone rang. It was a cold winter’s morning and it was snowing outside. As I struggled out of bed to pick up the phone the last thing I imagined was that I would get vital information about the most wanted canine outlaw of the Western Himalayas. Jagawar aka Jaggu aka Jaggu Satrangi aka Jags Caninleone.

On the other side was an informer who told me about Jaggu and his dog friday, Carlos the Jackal, being seen in the snows of Gulmarg. As the Sub Inspector in charge of the Canine Crimes Group this was the chance I was looking for. If I could get hold of Jaggu I could finally become an Inspector and maybe Basanti would then agree to marry me.

I put on my clothes, a t shirt, a half sleeves sweater, sweatshirt, a jacket and another jacket. Gulmarg snow season is cold and it’s there where all these Gangsters hideout. But I was a man in a mission and Jaggu was firmly in my cross hairs.

Last seen near one of the Ski lifts, Jaggu was armed and dangerous. And more so Carlos the Jackal, always ready to fight till the end for Jaggu. I needed to proceed with caution. But someone needed to do the job and I was the man for the job. And I could already hear Basanti saying yes to my marriage proposal.

And then came the time of reckoning. Out in the distance near the Ski lift I spotted Jaggu and Carlos. Planning their next heist, their next kill, their next hit. But they seemed to be frolicking in the snow like little kids. Who could have imagined that these were the Inglorious Bastards of the Pir Panjals having taken over the canine underworld after eliminating the heads of seven criminal canine families.

And then I decided to take the bull by the horn and called out to Jaggu and Carlos. We had met before but at that time Jaggu was an innocent six months old Puppy far removed from the murky crime world. He responded. I think he still remembered the butter chicken leg that I gave him.

The dangerous duo trotted towards me. I knew there was danger but I had to take the risk. And then they were upon me. And I asked him his name. He didn’t respond. I asked again in English knowing how conscious these Gangstas was. No reply again. I asked in Kashmiri. And then in Punjabi and assured him no harm will come upon him.

But Jaggu the crime lord, the name a mother would take to scare a crying child to stop crying, would say nothing. Like a Costa Nostra of the Pir Panjals. There was something Sicilian in the air. He just looked at me with his big beautiful eyes. And Carlos was all the time giving me the look, ready to pounce.

It was then that I realized that I should let these Inglorious Bastards be. Let them roam the snows of the Pir Panjals. There time wasn’t up yet and maybe the Almighty had deemed these devils to roam and spread terror in the Western Himalayas.

My marriage to Basanti would probably have to wait.

The Inglorious Bastards of the Pir Panjals won this round. But only this time.